Being human, we all have our limits. That's what makes us mortal. Upon creating us, God cleverly set aside our own personal limitations. On a brighter note, that's when He gave us our gifts. *ka-ching*
Our gifts - skills or talents that define who we are, what we're good at and what we're able to acheive. One common example would be the gift of foursight - the ability to wear spectacles. (HA... HA... HA...)
So we're human, so we're flawed, so you own a pair of polkla-dotted pink boxers which you never bothered to give away because you liked the colour. What really matters is; are we going to be content with what we are? Or are we just going to sit around worrying about how "imperfect" we might seem to be?
For He said "Offer to Me, what you have." and not "Offer to me, what you're going to be." or "Offer to me, your Happy Meal." which in case if He did, would have been in a very gentle and goldly tone.
A young man came up to Jesus saying "All your commandments i have kept from my youth. What do i still lack?
Jesus said to him, "if you want to be perfect, go, sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven, and come, follow Me."
But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful for he had great possesions.
Matthew 19: 20-22
At the end of the day, material and wealth account for nothing and what you're left with is just plain you. Will you offer it up to God? So come as you are. Let Him use your gifts as well as your flaws. If you have half a glass of water, offer it up to Him and He will make it full.
Likewise, if you have half a glass of Ribena or Coke (exceptions can be made for Johnny Walker and Jack Daniels), offer it up to Him and He will make it full.
Now that you've read what has been stated lets get back to the big question.
In my opinion, its neither. It's just the wrong size. :)
Danielle: "It's half full. Why ah?"
In the spirit of Halloween and to help you prepare for the war against the undead, we have compiled a list of things that you need to know about zombies and what you need do in case of a zombie apocalypse.
Disclaimer: This article is for entertainment purposes only. In the case of real zombie attack, we suggest you just run! But if you decide to listen to us, we wish you all the best. We'll catch up at the Pearly Gates.
1) KNOW YOUR ENEMY
You don’t go into war without knowing who your enemy is, do you? The first thing you need to do in the case of a zombie attack is to size up your opponent. Determine what type of zombies they are: Are they fast, rabid zombies like the ones in I Am Legend, or the stupidly slow
decaying ones like those in Night of the Living Dead? If they are the fast ones, you are basically screwed. But we'd hold out hope for the decaying kind.
You will be glad to know that zombies aren’t superhuman. By most accounts, the most they can do is walk, albeit very slowly, and bite you (which is deadly, in case you're new to all this and didn't already know that). Zombies usually distinguish prey from other zombies by smell,
although no one knows for sure what smell attracts them so we recommend you to take a bubbly bath before going to war with these demons.
From what we can tell, they often travel in pacts, have very bad personal hygiene, aren't that articulate and can be taken out by a standard issue 'Tommy Gun' and a crap-load of ammo.
For further instructions in the art of zombie hunting, please consult the following cinematic features: Resident Evil, Dawn of the Dead, Night of the Living Dead
2) FOOD IS GOOD
Ask anyone and they will tell you that the most important thing to stockpile during a disaster is food! It is very important to stockpile your food supply BEFORE the zombie apocalypse comes a knocking because you can be sure your local population will definitely flood the supermarket, grocery and convenient stores when the zombies attack. Like they say, the early bird gets the
juiciest worm.
When you stockpile food, go for a college diet of Maggie mee, tinned meats and a packet of Mamee or two because these types of food last longer than the others. Sure, you can go for an
occasional sushi pack, but why would you eat raw meat if there's a zombie virus making its rounds! Always go for food that can be stored for more than three months, at least, because you will never know when it is safe to go for another round of grocery shopping.
Word of caution: If you run out of food and are considering eating your fellow survivors -
check for bite marks, you might already be one of the undead.
3) LOCK AND LOAD
The easiest way to kill a zombie is by putting a bullet into its brain. Handguns and shotguns are favourites. They are very useful against distance targets and you can shoot all day long, minimizing your chances of getting beaten. But remember - and it may seem too obvious to even say, but trust us, when you're in a panic you might forget - guns require ammo, and reloading can take a long time especially when a large hoard of zombies come running towards you. Unless you have unlimited ammo like a certain Master Chief, use your firearms sparingly.
In a war against zombies, hand to hand combat may be the most reliable way to fight. You can kill a zombie by either decapitating its ugly head or giving it a hard and sharp blow to the head. Take a cue Resident Evil's Alice and get a machete, a crowbar, an axe, a huge hammer...you get the idea. Of course with hand to hand combat you run the risk of being bitten. So find a way to cover up.
Words of wisdom: do not ever wrestle a zombie. They might be decaying corpses, but they sure can kick your arse.
4) RALLY THE TROOPS
Your girlfriend turned into a zombie dude, our apologies), your entire town is after your blood and you've just realized you are alone in the fight against an entire town of the rabid undead!
The last thing you want to happen during a zombie apocalypse is to go through it alone and depressed, so the first thing you should do is to look for other survivors. It doesn’t matter if he is the school bully who made you poop your pants, or that nosy old neighbour who lives with her 99 cats, or the homeless guy sleeping outside Starbucks; Everyone’s an ally and recruiting them could mean there'd be fewer zombies for you to worry about - as there's little chance of someone surviving alone.
There is strength in numbers, therefore gather as many survivors as possible. A good zombie attack needs a lot of extras and you have to have enough people to root out the undead and block the entrances. This could be a special time that could bring you closer to that guy/girl you've always had a crush on but didn't say anything. Word of warning though, apocalyptic romances rarely end well!
Be careful who you offer a ride to; make sure the survivors are virus-free and are not already zombies. As they say, one bad apple ruins the entire basket. Oh-so-true in this case!
5) KILL OR BE KILLED
The most important rule to remember when fighting zombies is this: Anyone who has been bitten by a zombie CANNOT be saved! It doesn’t matter if that person is your mom, your best friend or your really hot wife; it’s only a matter of time before they turn into a zombie and throw your entire survival plan into jeopardy.
Typically, it takes around an hour or so for an infected person to turn into a brain-muncher. You have to decide whether to shoot them in the head while they are still human or after they turn, but no matter what, the shooting has to be done. We suggest that it is best to kill them before they die and reanimate – yes, as heartbreaking as that could be – because you simply don’t want your loved ones to die a zombie. We have no idea how zombies are treated in the hereafter, so take 'em out early!
This decision is made easier if the bitten individual is someone you dislike to begin with, such as an ex-husband or your mother-in-law.
6) GOODBYE AND GOOD RIDDANCE
If you somehow managed to make it through the zombie onslaught (although the chances of that are, like, one in a million but we are being positive here) and the army forces save the day, do not forget to high-five your zombie-buster teammates, give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done, down a pint or two with the guys at the bar, grab a girl in a quest to re-populate the world and call it a day. Phew! You made it through!
FuZZY
A mythical creature from Random Land this little birdie just turned 19 not so long ago. Born of the pieces of lollipops and sugar-coated strawberries, little Fuzzy has a unique sense of humour. Never failing to make Panger (RawR RawR) laugh.
She tweets when she's angry and pouts to cover it up. Thus, giving her a beauuuutiful beak. Smaller in comparison to that of the Hornbill's but pretty nonetheless.
If you look closely, you will find a spot on her belly saying "press here for laughter" but Panger keeps his paws (hands) to himself, thank you.
her favourite treat is yoghurt, waffles, ice-cream added with a pinch of random conversations. Her favourite game is the game of "Fetch"
it kinda goes like this.... she waits at home... AND YOU FETCH HER WITH YOUR CAR! :D
Caring, kind, whacky, random, loving (sometimes) and tweetable (whatever that means...)
with a heave of one of those petite things, her under-sized wings can account for the highest damage ever known. Stand in her way and prepare for doom.
Graceful in her dancing which Panger has yet to witness for himself, A good pet-- oops, i meant, friend. :) She's Criminal!
a weird cross between a tiger and a panda, Panger *RawwwwRR* has indeed perfected the art of dozing off. the black spots on his eyes make him impervious to stealth detection.
Has the ability to hide anywhere - Bushes, grass, trees. you name it. Panger turns invisible... when nobody is looking! :O
Panger is currently learning to grow wings and like his partner in crime, Fuzzy, he will one day fly around the world :)
Loves food. Eats anything in sight (including waffles, yoghurt and ice-cream) *gobble gobble gobble*
A victim of the game "Fetch"
Panger has perfected, refined and redefined the art of "Hakunamatta"
----------------------------- fill in the blanks. :P
the Following Sunday, i was in church and upon seeing Priscilla....
Jian : Keyboards huh? nice... :)
Prisc : *confused look* what?
Then i realised. "ZOMG, wrong Priscilla!!!"
i acted "cool" as if nothing had happened and so "coolly", walked away.
Turns out that the Priscilla i saw that day was Priscilla Chew.
Priscilla Yap is all the way in Australia. She's been there for the past two years and she's laughing at this post right now. Cheers :)
yes, i told them both and they laughed their heads off at it.
