Friday, 18 April 2008

Hou Hou Funny!!



okay.. due to popular-- *cough cough**


i mean.. "decent" demands, I've updated my blog! :D (sheesh, you impatient people)



alright. SooOooo.... whats been happening to JianShen lately? hmm.. wanna know? read on then :)



Once upon a time (which actually means "last month"), two fine, young and (... in the eyes of God...) considerably good looking young men who'd just finished a long days work at church, sought transport to their usual Friday night college CG. Their names were JianShen and David Leong.



okay lah.. lets not make this such a formal post.


Broken English with lets speak! Grammer and Speeling wrong also don't care wan...



David and i had just finished work and were waiting outside church for a cab. We tried to hail down one or two but in vain. (some stupid hot girl across the street stole our cab... too bad most taxi drivers are guys. hmm.. but judging by the number of rape cases now a days.. maybe that isn't so bad after all. Eh fellas? Just pray we get someone straight . . . .)






After about 2 minutes we got a cab. David opened the front door, leaned in and said "Section 17?" the cab driver nodded and we both got in. Since we decided to head on to my house before going to CG, David decided that it was best that i sit in front to give "directions".



as soon as the speedometer was above o.ooo1kmph, the taxi driver (lets just call him Ah Meng okay?), Ah Meng started talking and complaining about the rude and hard-to-deal-with passangers he got through the day. I could understand but couldn't find the words to reply. BECAUSE HE SPOKE IN CANTONESE!!



well, growing up in a home where my parents speak Cantonese, i learn how to understand Cantonese words. and that understanding was further re-inforced by 1-hour-a-day, seven-o'clock-Cantonese-soap-operas which my mom neverfailstomiss.



Ah Meng went on and on and on and on talking about some weird stuff. Then there was a short pause. David and i thought that the torture was over . . . . . . until he started talking again!!



this time Ah Meng started talking about politics... then about the elections... then the pros and cons of political groups. And to make it worse. I WAS SITTING IN FRONT!!! WHICH MEANS HE WAS PRACTICALLY SAYING ALL THESE THINGS TO ME!!



Knowing that i did not have the vocabulary to converse in this foreign and weird language (which happens to be my mother tongue), i calmed my nerves... took a few deep breaths and unleashed The Tactic Noddy.



"Whats The Tactic Noddy??" you wonder. Well, its basically a polite gesture to make it seem like you're listening to someone but actually you're in lala land. Here's how it works



The Tactic Noddy









  1. Look into eyes of victim at ALL TIMES while he / she / it is talking to you to make it seem like you're listening.


  2. Slowly nod at the end of every sentence and say things like "yeah i think so too" or "you're so right!"


  3. Remember to smile :))))









The Tactic Noddy works most effectively on spouses, mother-in-laws, irritating little kids etc.. etc...







so this guy just went on and on about his stuff and i just nodded and smiled at the end of his every sentence and said things like "oh..." and "hai lor..." and "mmhmmm"







David, who was sitting in the back seat (and understood and spoke fluent Cantonese) was laughing at me the whole time!!







when Ah Meng finally got to section 17, i had to direct him to the interiors of "Sup Chat Kui" which means section 17 in Cantonese.







here's how i gave him directions. i reached out my hand, pointed into the direction where he was supposed to turn and said "Li Dou" (which means "here" in Cantonese)







i did that for about 5 times until we reached the road where me house was on. I told Ah Meng that he could drop us off and we paid the taxi fare. Ah Meng was so pleased that he had someone to talk to that he gave us a discount of thirty cents. Talk about being a verbal prostitute... Well, cant blame taxi drivers la.. they sit in a car all day with nobody to talk to. After all, they're serving the public. :)







You should have seen David's face when we got out. The fella was laughing at me man . . . .







Oh well, just another funny incident. Will be a good story to tell my grandchildren. Just make sure they don't unleash Tactic Noddy on me or I'll go "toot toot" :P

1 comment:

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