If you haven't already known, my brother and I were both mugged by three Indian dudes in a kancil on Saturday morning. No, it's not a joke.
I had just came down from Ipoh that Friday evening and it took me a 5 hour drive due to the traffic congestion. I drive a manual car. Yes, due to extensive hours of working the clutch, my left leg now looks like Arnold Scwarzeneggar's six-pack. I could win Mr Universe by posing with my left leg alone.
Anyway... My brother and I were both watching the Ghana - Uruguay game at a mamak nearby our house. It was about 4am when half-time came. Both of us were tired so we decided to walk home since we lived so nearby.
On the way home, as we were casually walking and talking to each other in our neighbourhood, i noticed a white Kancil driving slowly up the road.
Me : "Car coming. Faster cross the road."
We quickly crossed the road and walked into the dimly lit back alley leading to our house (as we normally would). We could see our house from where we were. It was only a mere 60 feet away.
Suddenly the white Kancil stopped, reversed and drove into the lane we were walking in. At that point i alerady knew that something was wrong. As the car drove closer, i saw three Indian guys in the car staring at us. I was praying "Oh God, please let them ask for directions!!"
Luck wasn't on my side that day, The driver stopped the car in front of us and the three guys quickly got out of the car and came on to us. The first guy got to my brother and stabbed him in the chest with a chisel-like object. (According to my brother, the object was supposed to be blunt but it was sharpened to aid the wielder in his / her evil bidding. Muahahaha!)
While the second guy held me down, the third guy who was wielding a machete, held it up to my face and shouted at us "Keularkan SEMUA BARANG!!"
My brother and I had no choice but to agree to his polite and diplomatic agreements of "Give Me all your stuff or you die, suckers!!" At that moment, it wasn't fear or panic that gripped me. It was more of a frustration of being inconvenienced. Somehow i felt assured that my brother and I was going to be safe. So I was thinking to myself "Okay.. since I'm not going to die, after this I've got to make a police report, replace my IC, Drivers License and ATM card.. etc... ma-fan la..."
They took both our hand phones and my wallet which had RM50 inside. I would've rather died than go through the hassle of getting a new IC / Driver's license so I asked them.
Me : "Bang.. IC bagi balik la."
Fortunately, after emptying my wallet of its money, they tossed it back at me. (Yohohoho!)
Before leaving, the driver of the car punched me in the face and the machete-wielding dude hit me in the back of the head with the butt-end of the machete. The impact caused my glasses to fly off my face and land a few feet away. After inflicting such pain, the three guys got into the Kancil and quickly drove off with our hand phones and my money leaving both of us in the alley.
I remember the back of my head hurting like crazy, i looked up to see if my brother was okay. He was holding his chest.
Me : "What did he do to you?"
Bro : "The guy stabbed me."
True enough, there was a spot of blood on my brother's shirt and it kept becoming bigger.
I ran over to him and asked if he was okay. "I'm okay..." He replied
Me : "Help me find my glasses..."
Bro : "It's there."
He pointed to the spot where my glasses were. They were scratched and bent from hitting the road.
As i bent down to pick my glasses up, i felt a cold liquid running down my neck. I felt my neck with my right hand and looked at my right palm to see what it was. My palm was full of blood. It was only then did i realise that the back of my head where the machete dude hit me was bleeding like a half-running tap.
Blood dripped all over my shirt and neck.
Bro : "Kor, you also bleeding ah?"
Me : "Yea. The guy hit me so hard... Never mind la.. lets go home."
We got into the house and woke my mom to tell her what had happened. She nearly got a heart attack when she saw both out shirts covered in blood. We were talking so causally she nearly didn't believe us at first.
Me : "Eh, mi... wake up. We kena mug."
Mom : "Mhmm?... what?" *sleepy voice*
Me : "We're bleeding alot, see our shirt."
My mother sits up and opens her eyes. She realises our blood-soaked shirts.
Mom : "AIYOH!! WHAT HAPPENED??!!"
Me : "We kena mug la. I got hit in the head. Xin got stabbed."
Mom : "ARE YOU BOTH OKAY ANOT??!! AIYOOH!!"
Me : "Yea, we're just bleeding alot. Come la go hospital."
Mom : "AIYOOOOHH..!! we clean your wounds first."
Bro : "Lemme go take a piss first, been holding for so long."
After cleaning our wounds, mom drove both of us to the hospital at 4.40am where we, again, casually shocked the nurses.
As we walked in to the ward, our blood-soaked shirts caught the attention of every nurse. They looked at us in horror as if we were bloody zombies who'd just had our fill of the night's supper.
Me & Bro : "Hi.." *waves*
Nurse1 : "Omygosh, what happened to the both of you?"
Me : "Oh, he got stabbed and got hit in the head."
Nurse2 : "Faster come with me."
Machete dude was kind enough to leave me with three stitches at the back of my head. Whereas shard-object dude was thoughtful enough to grace my brother with three stitches in the lower chest. My brother's wound was 1cm deep. If the stab was any deeper it could have punctured his lungs and killed him.
After getting treated at the hospital, my brother had to stay behind for observation. The doctor feared the stab wound might cause him difficulty in breathing since it was so near his lungs.
And yes, we made a police report.
We're both alive, at home and laughing about it now.
I thank God that nothing happened to the both of us. We could've been maimed or worse still, killed. Truly the protection of God was upon us preventing my brother from being stabbed to death and preventing me from being any more retarded in the head.